Monday, March 1, 2010

Funked.

I had plenty of things to be thrilled about today.  I was back in the office.  My first listing went up which means the excellent prospect of a paycheck.  It is March, otherwise known as the start of birthday season.  It was 40 degrees and I saw about 3 rays of sunshine.

I went to work with a good attitude...by 10, it was trickling down hill.  And, I tried and tried and tried to get myself right back out of it.  I made some serious progress in the office and got A LOT done.  However, the Monday Miss My Mom doldrums crept into my consciousness despite my best efforts.  I have been 'funked' ever since.

I am lonely for my buddy.  Lonely to trade our normal Monday emails that griped about how much neither one of us wanted to be at work....although, these days, I actually want to be there.  Lonely to start hearing the stories about the day I was born and the blizzard that tried to circumvent my arrival.  Lonely to talk about what we are going to wear for Spring and that neither one of us has anything that we like in our closets.

I am officially in that closet hating stage right now.  I am so over everything that is in there.  I am sick of winter clothes and less than excited about my current spring prospects.  And, I am also not pleased that my weight loss has halted and that my ass does not fit into the nice small size it belongs in.  I want the vision of the JCrew stylists...ok, so not some of the ugly looks....some of the, 'wow, I can't believe that goes together and looks that good' looks.

As for my workouts....well...they are going ok.  I had a really good one last Thursday that almost made me puke....And, I was supposed to get back on my 'no snooze' wagon this am and failed miserably.  I am going to the gym 5-6 days a week, it just isn't always in the morning like it should be.

Today is the day that nothing is right.  I am frustrated with me.  Sick of living in Olathe.  Sick of living out of multiple locations.  Sick of Claire playing defense when Moxie goes outside.  Sick of feeling fat.  Sick of running on that damn track at the gym.  Sick of coats.

I hope to wake up and have the funk gone tomorrow.  I hate days like this.  I have alot to be thankful for but don't feel all that damn thankful....and that frustrates me.

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