Yes, you are correct, the Smith and Wesson that I am referring to are not a couple of great new stores or clothing designers....I am referring to the one that makes guns.
One of the things that we talk about in my company when it comes to personal growth is 'stepping into your fear'. I, personally, don't think that I am afraid of too many things. There are some ideas/activities that I am not too interested in but I wouldn't necessarily say that I fear them. However, I stared fear square in the face on Monday night.
My husband has a couple of handguns for the purpose of protection and some sport shooting. I know where they are. I know about the parts. And, I know they can kill someone. However, I had never fired a weapon. Ever. So, we both thought it was pretty ridiculous to have a handgun in the home if I had no idea what it would feel like to use it. So.............I signed up for my first NRA class about how to safely handle and use a handgun.
I went, by myself, to class on Monday night. The class was taught by a woman who knows her stuff and seems to be an expert in the field. I stepped into the local gun range shop and felt like I was in a foreign land. I knew very little about all of the different guns and ammo there. In my class, there were 2 other women and 3 men. And, being the person that I was, I assumed that most of the people in that beginner class had never fired a weapon either. Wrong assumption. They all had....except me. Class went well. I paid attention, answered questions, and felt like I had a pretty good handle on the rules. Then it was time for the gun range....you know...where they fire guns.
I have been off my blood pressure meds for over a week and have no idea what my blood pressure was when I stepped into my own little stall. I could guess and would tell you that the number I would guess usually requires medical intervention. I waited patiently for further instruction. I was in absolutely no hurry for the first time ever. And, then as it got closer to my turn, the feelings and physical reaction that I have prior to vomiting started. Don't worry...I didn't vomit all over, although I was awfully darn close.
One of the things that they tell you is to keep gradually applying pressure to the trigger until your weapon fires and that you should be surprised when it does. Believe me, I was surprised on all 50 of the rounds that I fired. And, I was marginally more comfortable as I went through my rounds. I was also pleasantly surprised to learn that I was a pretty damn accurate shot. Don't misunderstand, it's not like the target was that far away, but I did pretty damn well for someone who was trying not to throw up. Oh yeah...and I was better than the other women in the class...it's a good thing I am not competitive.
Overall, I would put it in line of the most stressful things I have ever done. For those of you that know me and know my previous life as a nurse, it was even more stressful than some of the times that I coded someone with a gut feeling they wouldn't make it.
Despite the stress, I will go back. I want to try again without those first time jitters and see how it goes. If it goes well, I will keep it up. If not, I won't. But, if some idiot comes into my home with the intent of harming me, I will not be afraid to show him that I know how to use a gun safely....and then I will probably throw up.